


Quatervois

by potdeyaourt



Category: Loki: Agent of Asgard, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies), Thorki - Fandom
Genre: AU, Age Difference, Aged Up, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Anal, Anal Sex, Angst, Anorexia, Bulimia, Drug Dealing, Eating Disorders, Eventual Smut, Fingering, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Loki - Freeform, M/M, Romance, Self-Harm, Smut, Suicidal Thoughts, Thor - Freeform, Thor Odinson - Freeform, Thor/Loki Week, Thorki - Freeform, aged down, big sob, blowjob, consentual, handjob, tw, very sad, young loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-07-27 04:35:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16211525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potdeyaourt/pseuds/potdeyaourt
Summary: A young man with sad green eyes who's lost in his self-created abyss.Until a blonde haired guy who talks too loud reaches out for him.Could this be more than just an act of kindness?





	1. Sad boy

**Author's Note:**

> Hey!  
> Some notes about this story in general but mainly this chapter:  
> \- first and foremost: I AM NOT A NATIVE SPEAKER NOR AM I A PROFESSIONAL WRITER! I do all this for fun, keep that in mind when you're about to do me dirty in the comments  
> -Thor and Loki are not related in this AU; I simply took inspiration from their original character design and transformed it into something new. You'll still see their original MCU personalities shine throught though, so don't worry, my dear Thorki fans ;)
> 
> ABOUT THIS CHAPTER: Nothing explicit in any way shape or form... yet.  
> -suicide, bulimia, depression referenced/implied
> 
> HAVE FUN!

When the door lock klicks open, he throws himself against the front door of the apartment building. It’s stuck, as always.

Loki takes two steps back and rams his right shoulder against the wooden door frame.

He stumbles inside clumsily when the door suddenly swings open and only barely manages to stay on his feet.

The door slams shut; the boisterous sound of metal hitting on metal is followed by an ear ringing silence.

 The teenager leans against the egg shell coloured walls. The paint is old and dry and when his black trench coat brushes against it, some of the paint gets stuck in the woolly material.

 Like dandruff or confetti from a sad, colourless party.

Loki sighs loudly.

 _What a day,_ the 16 year old boy with the raven coloured locks thinks to himself.

_You might as well make three ‘of it._

He re-adjusts the straps of his backpack and dusts the wall paint crumbs off his shoulders before walking over to the old rusty elevator and frantically smashing the up button.

 The door creaks open after what seemed like an eternity.

Floor 7.

He’s surprised every time the elevator actually makes it that far without breaking down and inevitably trapping him in this metal coffin.

Nobody would find him for at least a week.

Or longer.

Nobody even uses the elevator. Floor 5&6 are uninhabited and everything below is easily accessible via stairs.

 Not that the old ramshackle staircases are any safer than the moving metal coffin. But the two families and three senile pensioners still prefer them. It’s probably their only form of exercise.

Loki reaches his floor after what felt like 20 minutes. The doors open at earthworm pace and the voice announces the arrival.

While ambling to his apartment, the young man ponders whether the woman, whose voice was used for the elevator recording, is still alive.

He fondles his key bundle, searching for his apartment key.

When Loki enters the apartment, he’s greeted by a whiff of rotting garbage.

''Fuck!’’ he curses to himself quietly. He’d forgotten to take out the garbage AGAIN.

He drops his bag and coat, slams the door shut and walks over to the bathroom, grabbing a half empty can of deodorant. Smell-killing weapon in hand, he trots to the kitchen. Covering his mouth and nose with the sleeves of his black sweater he pushes the garbage can foot pedal down and violently sprays the decomposing food remains until the smell of rotting eggs and dairy products is covered by the strong scent of cheap deodorant.

 _There_ , Loki thinks to himself proudly, _that should give me another day_.

 He drops the deodorant where he stands and shuffles over to his bedroom. The curtains are drawn, obviously. The wooden floor is covered in dirty clothes and towels, the occasional fork peeking out of the sea of laundry, like a drowning sailor waving at a distant ship for help. Loki is the ship, but he chooses to ignore the fork. Or anything else on the floor really.

 It takes two large steps for him to reach his bed. He flops on it, face down and remains immobile for a while.

 Something hard and rectangular unpleasantly presses against his manhood. It takes his sleepy brain a while to remember that he still has his phone stuck in between the two pairs of boxer briefs that he wears. An old trick taught to him by his father.

_Always keep your valuables down there. A snatcher might grab your buttocks and your hips to get some cash money but trust me boy, they won’t even consider that hiding spot! And even if they know the trick, how desperate must a man be to touch your ding dong for some lousy coins?_

 Maybe Loki is the one who is desperate for somebody to touch _his_ ding dong. Maybe that’s why he still keeps his phone and the £10 note stuffed in his underwear.

 _Maybe you should’ve kept your phone and coins in your shirt pocket instead, dad,_ he thinks to himself, _maybe that would’ve stopped the bullet_.

 The boy pushes the thought of his dead father aside. He’s been alone for what now, 2 years?

 In any other neighborhood he would’ve been kicked out of his apartment by now.

_We can’t have a minor live here and especially not alone!_

 But his old man knew the owner of the apartment complex (and by knowing he meant he sold him crack once or twice a week) and after Loki’s father died in a street fight after an unsuccessful deal, the owner felt like he owed it his favourite trafficker to at least give his offspring a place to sleep and eat.

 Mainly the first.

The young man’s always had an issue with food.

So most of it ends up in the bin or half-digested in the toilette.

He knows it’s not good but he knows that about all his bad habits. Doesn’t mean he’s ever going to stop any of them.

 At least this atrocious routine of self-destruction that he’s developed over the years gives him a reason to wake up every day.

 Some people wake up in the morning, next to their significant other, kissing them awake and smiling at the sight of what they claim to be the love of their live.

Until the next person comes, the next _better_ person.

Some people wake up in the morning to make breakfast for their kids, the sweetest little angels, if you ask them.

Until they start to grow up and have an opinion, then suddenly a slap in the face seems like a better argument then any possibly spoken one.

 Some people wake up in the morning, just to go to work. Even if they hate it more and more each day.

Until they realize HOW MUCH they actually hate it. And themselves. And their live in general. So they decide to take it.

Their live.

 Loki would always refer to them as weak cowards.

 _Suicide is just running away from the problem instead of facing it_.

But the young man with the sad green eyes knows that in his darkest times, the fear of being labelled a coward is the only thing that keeps him from ending his life.

So he gets up every morning, no matter how hard and unpleasant it is. Just to proof to himself that he, in fact, isn’t a whiny little coward.

 

But maybe, just maybe that’s a good enough reason for now.


	2. An unwelcome guest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey!   
> I'm glad some people enjoy this story so far.   
> Here's chapter 2 for you!   
> Leave comments and kudos if you like.
> 
> The next chapters are gonna be far more... interesting... ;)
> 
> !Cliffhanger! sorry not sorry hehehehhe

A couple hours pass and the head with the black curls is still resting against the light blue pillow. Loki’s brain is not asleep but he feels too weak to move.

Working two shifts at two different jobs coming up to a total of 12 hours 5 days a week is far too much for a 16 year old.

He lazily flips onto his back, grunting like an injured bear and begins to open the button and zipper of his black jeans.

 He shimmies out of them without moving his body up from the bed any more than necessary. It takes a while, but he gets there eventually.

He tugs the top pair of underwear up to pull his phone and the crumpled up £10 note out of their uncomfortable hiding space.

One quick glance at the bright screen of his mobile tells him that it’s already 9pm.

He usually gets up around 4am, so he can be at his first job at the nearby grocery store at around 5:15am. His shift ends around 11:15am, sometimes 12 if there’s a larger delivery that needs to be stored away. The boy then usually grabs a salad from the instore salad bar and hurries to his next work place.

They never make him pay for the salad.

Whether it’s just pity or a form of _rewarding_ him for his excellent work, Loki doesn’t care enough to question their unnecessary generosity.

 His other work place is at a coffee shop. How fucking cliché for a skinny 16 year old boy who mostly wears black and has shoulder long hair, right?

There’s only one reason he got this job.

Drugs.

And only one reason he still does.

Olivia.

 Despite only being the tender age of 25, Olivia could be referred to as the old hand of ‘’Heartwarmings’’(The owner once claimed that it’s a combination of ‘heartwarming’ and ‘things’) .

She’s been there when Loki and his father first set a foot into the tiny but welcoming café.

She continued to serve customers with the most innocent and charming smile, while Loki’s father and the rest of his gang did the ‘’washing up magic’’ behind closed doors. Most days, Loki’s after school time consisted of doing his homework next to the garbage bins in the café or watching Olivia work. Whenever he asked what his dad was actually doing back there with all the other men, he’d get the same answer from the female employee.

_‘’He’s cooking, sweetheart. It’s like… making candy. But he uses a special sugar and that way he can sell his magic rock candy for a lot of money. No, Loki-dear, you can’t taste it! Promise me you never will. It’s for adults and adults only. But not the type of adult I want you to turn into. It’ll all make more sense when you’re older’’_

She’d always end her explanations with a hair ruffle. As every grown adult she seemed to be obsessed with his curls.

 Olivia was right. It made more sense the older he got. And he still wishes it didn’t.

Now that his father has passed away and the 16 year old boy is basically responsible for himself he can’t help but be grateful that his old man’s drug circle chose the ’Heartwarmings’ as their spot 8 years ago. Otherwise he’d never gotten this chill and well paid job.

And he would’ve never met Olivia.

 The young woman with the loud and contagious laugh, who drinks more coffee in a day than she serves to her customers in a week and who reads dirty magazines that she always hides in a copy of ‘ _Home and Garden’._

 Loki likes her a lot. More than anybody else in his life. Not that there are many people to choose from anyway. But even if he could, Olivia would always be his No.1.

Friendshipwise.

 Not saying Olivia isn’t pretty or overall attractive enough to turn a 16 year old’s head.

With her corpulent body, the large breasts and the round, soft face that’s always beautifully framed by a red jungle of curls she got asked out for dinner (or more) at least twice a week.

But Loki most definitely prefers dick over chick.

 Still, even without a romantic aspect, Olivia definitely adds to the ‘ _Reasons-to-get-up-in-the-morning’_ -list.

 

 _I could just undress and call it a day_ , the black haired lad thinks to himself as he lifts his arms above his head to stretch his tired limbs. With his armpits so close to his nose now, he decides on taking a shower first.

He might be 16 but the speed at which he’s getting up from his bed to undress matches the speed of an 85 year old combat veteran with a missing leg and PD.

 Loki wraps his arms around himself in an attempt to protect his now naked body from the cold air that’s trying to lick every uncovered inch of skin with its icy tongue.

_Note to self: Turn the heat on once in a while._

 He shuffles into the bathroom, carefully trying to avoid any of the randomly scattered objects on the floor. Almost like a wounded soldier, who’s trying to escape the battlefield after a gruesome fight without tripping over any of the corpses that are littering his way.

 Once in the shower, Loki turns the temperature on ‘ _flesh melting hot’._ It takes the old rusty shower a solid two minutes until it spits lukewarm water and another three until the water temperature suffices Loki’s needs.

 The boy, who’s been pressed against the corner of the shower for the past couple minutes to avoid the freezing cold liquid, slowly slides under the gentle jet of water and relaxes immediately once the calming heat hits his body.

 He spends a couple minutes just swaying back and forth enjoying the warmth.

 

 Loki’s deep in thought when something very out of the ordinary happens.

 

Someone knocks at his door.

 

 Surprised, he turns the shower off, listening closely this time.

It knocks again.

_knock_

_knock_

_knock_

_1..2..3.._

The knocking stops.

 

The next thing he hears is the boisterous noise of bursting wood.

 

_Somebody broke into my apartment._


	3. Hide and Seek

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was extremely busy the past couple weeks so that's why it took so long to finish the third chapter. Sorry for leaving you on a cliff hanger but guess what... I'm about to do it again ;)
> 
> Don't worry, chapter 4 is gonna be out soon. I even promise some... spiiiiceeeeee :P

Silence.

Usually something Loki finds comfort in is now his source of agonizing fear.

 After a few seconds that felt like hours, the quietness is broken by footsteps.

 _It’s definitely a man,_ the boy thinks to himself.

_A big, tall strong man, judging by the noise he makes by just walking on carpet!_

Loki, due to a lack of better options, crouches down and pushes himself into the corner of the shower that is furthest away from the curtain (and the bathroom door).

_Is this it?_

_Is this the end? MY end?_

_Am I really gonna die like this?_

_Naked in a shower at the age of 16?_

His mind is going wild. He’s shivering, both from fear and the lack of the comforting warmth of the water.

The next thing he hears is the rustling of fabric.

_He’s taking his jacket of…?_

The ink haired boy tries to breathe as little as possible so the giant in the hallway won’t notice him right away.

 But even the tiny drops of water that glide down his body to unite with the puddle beneath him seem to make too much noise to be overheard.

´´ **Where are you?** ’’ the unknown man in the hallway growls, seemingly impatient ´´ **I know you’re here, the door was locked from the inside**.´´

  _Oh, so you purposely broke down my front door?!_ Loki thinks to himself.

Despite the jumpscare of the person suddenly speaking, the teen continues to sit in absolute silence, controlling his breathing and trying to control his racing heartbeat too.

 His eyes are closed; all attention is focused on the figure in the hall and the noises they’re producing.

´´ **Jesus fucking Christ man, I’m not in the fucking mood to play fucking hide and seek!** ´´

Loki can’t decide whether the undertone of the man’s voice is angry and threatening or just aggressively annoyed.

 He hopes for latter.

The man in the hallway sighs out loud and dramatic before stomping over to the living room.

´´ **I hope you payed the TV bill, Lokellah**.´´ he grunts as he slumps onto the worn out couch. The coil springs make agonized sounds under the heavy weight.

_Lokellah._

_LOKELLAH?_

_No way…nobody calls me that anymore. Nobody has called me that in years! In fact, I can’t even remember wh…oh no. Please no. This can’t b… no… no way._

 The sudden realisation sends a jolt through the fragile body cowering in the damp corner of the shower.

Loki grabs onto the faucet and gets up while violently pushing the shower curtain aside. He steps out of the shower, grabbing the nearest used towel from the heater and wraps it around his waist.

Pushing tangled wet curls out of his face he walks towards the door.

One deep breath and he pushes the handle down.

 It’s pitch black in the apartment, just how he left it. The only source of light is the flickering TV statics.

It’s not much but still enough light to illuminate the mountain of a man sitting across from it on Loki’s torn and used old leather couch.

 The blonde long strands of hair that frame the man’s face are shimmering almost golden in the cold flickering light of the TV statics. His head is resting in his hands, his elbows digging into the space just above his knees.

´´ **There you are**.´´ the man says lowly. Loki can hear the smug grin that’s undoubtedly painted across his face.

None of them moves a muscle.

A minute passes until the intruder raises his voice again.

´´ **You suck at hide and seek, Lokellah**.´´

Loki steps out of the darkness into the gloomy light of the living room, resting his shoulder against the door frame.

He raises his head. His emerald irises reflect the flickering light, making them look like shiny crystals.

´´ _Peek-A-Boo, motherfucker.´´_


	4. Cherry suckers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so basically... I wrote this and the next chapter in one go... because... I couldn't stop myself ;)
> 
> Both chapters are pretty long so... grab a cup of tea and a biscuit and get ready for a ride.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING FOR: self harm, self harm scars, discussion of self harm, generally Loki thinks pretty badly of himself, yelling (?!), cursing, first kiss and somewhat dirty/sexual talk (not too explicit...yet), LARGE AGE DIFFERENCE! 
> 
> Also side note: I've heard that some people tend to get triggered when young men get addressed as boys, as that insinuates that they are immature and/or minors. I'm in my twenties and still refer to myself as a boy sometimes. It's fun and cute and convenient imo (especially for fucking bottom like me lol). Loki is at the age of consent. And everything that's mentioned about his past is from MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE! Generally 80% of this fanfic is my own story, whether that's good or bad, only I am entitled to judge.  
> So: This is not pedophilia, nor anything morally unacceptable. This goes for the next chapter as well (bc Loki talks about their past *no spoilers*).  
> So please refrain from leaving anything awful in the comments. There's a real person behind this screen, a person with feelings that can get hurt. If you personally have a problem with 13 year olds having crushes (and crushes ONLY) on older guys (like I did when I was 13; as I said Loki's 13 year old self is briefly mentioned in the next chapter NOTHING EXPLICIT OR ILLEGAL OR PEDOPHILIA RELATED JUST TO CLARIFY AGAIN ) then maybe you should refrain from reading this. 
> 
> I know the people who could potentially come for me are those who read sebaciel fics about an actual twelve year old getting butt fucked by a 1000 year old demon.  
> Maybe your should get your morals in check.
> 
> Anyway, rant over. Leave something nice if you want. Also suggestions for other fics/pairings are always welcome!

Silence follows.

Again.

Until the giant gets up, unexpectedly quiet for a man of his size. It takes him three steps to reach the half hidden figure leaning against the doorframe.

Loki doesn’t move. Every muscle in his body is tensed.

_If he touches me, I’ll kick him in the nuts._

 When the man stops right in front of him, the young boy breaks eye contact to take his whole appearance in.

He really is tall.

 _Taller than the last time I’ve seen him_.

6’6’’ at least. Broad shoulders, small waist, a V-shape. His muscular frame is covered by a woollen grey tight sweater, a bulky leather jacket on top of that.

 Worn out light blue jeans hug his similarly muscly legs. They aren’t tight fit and yet they still somehow manage to emphasise his privates in a way that makes Loki dizzy for a split second.

‘ **’Only looking, no touching.** ’’ the blonde bloke growls in a joking manner, the smug grin on his lips again.

A fair crimson tint washes over the raven haired boy’s light skin.

_Shit, he caught me staring!_

Instead of acknowledging his obvious embarrassment Loki murmurs

‘’ _You owe me a door_.’’

He wasn’t joking, yet the blonde haired titan breaks out into uproarious laughter.

‘’ **And you owe me about £800 but maybe we should leave the past in the past, what do you think, pretty boy?** ’’

There it is.

Loki’s nickname.

Said by the one and only person who were ever allowed to call him that.

‘’ _Don’t call me that._ ’’ It’s barely a whisper

‘ **’Why not? Have you found somebody else in the meantime who’s given the honour to use that nickname on you?** ’’

‘’ _Not unlikely regarding that I haven’t heard from you in about 3 years. I thought you were dead._ ’’

‘’ **Maybe I was.** ’’

‘’ _Maybe you should’ve been._ ’’

The older man takes another step forward. Loki’s trapped between his counterpart and the wooden doorframe.

Loki’s breath hitches.

_Too close._

He’s suddenly uncomfortably aware of how naked he is.

‘’ **You don’t mean that, do you, pretty boy?** ’’ he leans forward even more while sulkily whispering in the younger man’s ear.

‘’ **I thought you’d be happy to see me again. I thought you missed me.** ’’

 _I am and I did_.

But Loki’s unwilling to admit that to the bloke.

‘’That assumption doesn’t justify you breaking into my apartment, you hamfisted giant!’’ Loki manages to tilt his head back enough to make eye contact with the one foot taller man.

_Why is this asshole still grinning?_

‘ **’I knocked. You didn’t open. What choice did I have?** ’’

‘’ _Leaving._ ’’

‘ **’Nope, not an option**.’’

‘’ _Very much so_.’’

‘ **’Come oooooon, pretty boy**.’’

‘ _’I told you to stop calling me that_.’’

‘ **’Why? You used to love that nickname**.’’

‘ _’Well, I don’t anymore_.’’

‘ **’How come?** ’’

_You were the only one who ever saw the pretty boy in me, so once I noticed that the rest of humanity would barely consider me average I started questioning whether you used to say it out of spite or pity instead of honesty._

‘ _’Stop bombarding me with questions, would you_?’’

‘ **’I haven’t even started yet**.’’

‘ _’Refrain from doing so then, please. I’m more than just ‘not in the mood’ for that right now._ ’’

‘ **’Well, what are you in the mood for?** ’’

It’s not really a question. He leans forward again, even closer this time, his stubble gently caressing Loki’s cheek.

‘’ _Don’t you dare, Thor._ ’’

He hates how breathless he sounds already.

_Motherfucker hasn’t been in this apartment for more than 40 minutes and he’s already toying with me like no time has passed._

‘ **’Or what?** ’’

With those words Thor presses himself against the boy until their chests collide.

Loki whimpers.

 _Pathetic needy little virgin_ , he cusses at himself silently.

‘ **’Thought so.** ’’

Thor’s facial expression is the embodiment of self-confidence and the sentence ‘I win’.

Loki acts impulsively. His right fist shoots forward, aiming for the older man’s groin.

Expectedly, Thor catches the boy wrist inches before it collides with his privates.

 Thor’s grin only grows wider.

‘’ **Too slow.** ’’ he growls amused

Thor doesn’t let go of Loki’s wrist, instead he pulls it closer to his face to be able to examine it closely in the dim TV statics induced light.

 And for the first time that evening, the face that’s been brimming with self-confidence since the man forcibly entered this flat, drops.

His eyes switch between the wrist in his hand and his opponents face in a dashing speed.

‘ **’Are those new?** ’’ it’s not more than a whisper but his voice carries the pain and hurt of a father who just got told that his son died in a car accident. The scar lines on the young man’s wrist, which Thor had previously examined, shimmer pearl white in the dim light.

‘ _’Define ‘new_ ’’’ Loki replies, making it sound cockier than he intended to.

‘ **’Loki…** ’’ is all the giant manages to choke out. He drops to his knees and Loki presses himself closer to the doorframe.

 _What is he doing for God’s sake_?!

Thor presses his forehead against the boys navel, his nose bridge pushing into his abdomen lightly.

‘ _’Don’t tell me you’re crying? Are you kidding me? Is this the first time you’ve seen scars? Jesus, Thor. You’re acting like a goddamn child right now_ **.** ’’ With that, he attempt to push the sobbing blonde head aside to escape his half-flesh-half-wood prison but Thor’s faster, again.

Strong arms wrap around fragile hips and Loki loses the ground under his feet.

‘’PUT ME DOWN!’’

No response.

‘’FOR GOD’S SAKE PUT ME DOWN IMMEDIATELY, THOR!’’

The giant stays quiet as he adjusts him to where he’s carrying the ink haired struggling boy over his shoulder. He starts his journey towards the bedroom.

‘’THORKIL HEIMDALL ODINSON, PUT ME DOWN, NOW!’’ Loki shouts while kicking and boxing his captor with ineffable fury.

But Thor doesn’t comply until they reach the clutter filled bedroom of the 16 year old. He throws Loki on the bed with more force than needed, tears away the last bit of fabric that covers the boy beneath him and is about to click the light switch next to the bed when a cold bony hand reaches for his warm wrist.

‘ _’Please… please don’t…Thor…please…_ ’’ Now it’s Loki’s turn to be on the brink of breaking out into tears.

Thor’s expression softens immediately when he sees the tears forming in the boy’s eyes.

‘ **’Loki…** ’’ he shakes his head

‘ **’I’m not gonna hurt you in any way**.’’

‘ _’I know_.’’

‘ **’I just want to look at you, all of you**.’’

‘ _’I know._ ’’

‘ **’Then what’s the problem**?’’

‘’ _I_ …’’ Loki hesitates for a second. Explaining the reasoning behind his reaction to Thor trying to turn the light on would probably infuriate or worry the man even further.

‘ _’I… j-just, I… I don’t want you to look at me._ ’’

‘ **’Why…?** ’’

_Because I’m disgusting and I don’t want you to see that._

_Because I’m not your pretty boy._

_I’m not a pretty boy in general._

_I’m a disgrace._

_Because I never expected to see you again but now you’re here and despite acting like a little bitch I don’t want you to leave again._

_But if you see my thighs and my hips, you will._

Loki doesn’t say anything out loud. He just stares into the eyes of the man hovering above him. The light from the living room doesn’t reach the bed so it’s almost pitch black and here and he can only guess the other’s facial expression.

What is it?

Worry?

Anger?

Frustration?

Disgust?

Loki tilts his head to face the wall, he can’t look at Thor anymore. Latter takes that as a signal to wiggle his hand out of the solid grip and reach for the light switch again.

Warm yellow light floods the room. The blonde man squints for a second. Then his attention is on the naked boy beneath him again.

Loki’s skin is so pale, it seems to reflect the light in an almost eye hurting way.

 Thor looks and Thor sees.

Fine pearl white and faint red lines.

Everywhere.

Hips, thigs, upper arms, lower arms, shoulders, rib cage, some even on his abdomen.

 **He seems to have more scar tissue then actual skin** , he thinks to himself sarcastically.

 Loki starts to shiver. Whether it’s fear, embarrassment or the low temperature in this apartment, he honestly can’t tell.

Thor spends another three minutes examining the naked boy’s blemishes until he locks eyes with him again.

‘ **’You promised me to stop, Loki…** ’’ the disappointment in his words is so thick, you could cut it with a knife.

 _See? No pretty boy this time. Ha, how predictable_.

‘ _’And you promised to never leave, guess we’re both liars._ ’’ he shoots back, crossing his arms and legs while trying to avoid kicking the blonde bloke in the balls in the process.

 Something about his response must’ve been like gasoline to the fire that was already blazing inside the older man.

Thor’s expression changes; disappointment and worry give place for unbridled rage.

‘ **’I HAD NO GODDAMN CHOICE! WHO DID YOU EXPECT TO CLEAN UP THE MESS YOUR PIECE OF SHIT FATHER LEFT BEHIND? THERE WAS NOBODY LEFT, LOKI! IT WAS ALL ON ME! I HAD TO FIX THIS, OR THEY WOULD’VE SENT ME STRAIGHT TO PRISON! AND IT’S ALL YOUR FATHER’S FAULT. THAT GODFORSAKEN BASTARD. IF HE WASN’T DEAD ALREADY, I WOULDN’T HESITATE TO PUT ANOTHER BULLET THROUGH HIS CHEST.**

 **BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, LOKELLAH? ONLY ONE OF US HAS BLOOD ON HIS HANDS AND IT’S NOT ME!** ’’

Thor drops on all fours.

He presses his forehead against Loki’s bare chest, trying to catch his breath and forcing back the treacherous tears that are trying to escape his eyes to give away that he hadn’t been yelling out of anger but pure worry and frustration.

 Loki, who had held his breath for the past minute out of shock, finally breathes in.

He can feel the weight of Thor’s head on his chest and despite the circumstances, it’s oddly comforting.

 The raven haired boy lifts his hand to caress the blonde mane that tickles his skin with every breath he takes.

‘ _’I’m sorry. I’m sorry for breaking my promise. A couple hundred times._ ’’ he whispers while switching the light off again with his free hand. His voice sounds surprisingly more firm than he himself expected it too.

He hates being yelled at. It’s one of the worst forms of humiliation.

They remain like this for a couple more minutes, until Thor, in one fluent motion, shoves his arms under the fragile boy, pulls him to his chest, sits up and gently places Loki on his lap.

They don’t look at each other.

‘ **’It’s my fault. I should’ve never left you behind. It seemed like the right thing to do, the safest… I’m sorry, baby boy.** ’’

The nickname makes Loki’s skin tingle. He can feel the blush covering his cheeks and ears.

_Fuck you, fuck you, FUCK YOU! You always do this! How am I supposed to be mad with you or upset when you can wrap me around your finger so easily?!_

The boy shifts closer to the fully dressed man and arches his back until their upper bodies collide again.

 ‘ _’You still owe me a door, Sir_.’’

Thor swallows thickly when he hears how Loki addresses him.

 _Ha, see? I can play that game too,_ Loki thinks to himself with a grin as he inches even closer until his lips almost touch the older man’s ear lobe.

‘ _’How do you wish to pay? Cash, card or…_ ’’ he stops and pulls back to see Thor’s face.

What he sees satisfies the boy.

Dilated pupils.

‘ **’What is the third option?** ’’ Thor asks while leaning back, trying to escape the heat that the male in his lap is radiating.

‘ _’You tell me._ ’’ Loki says, showing a row of perfect white teeth.

‘ **’Don’t make me regret coming here**.’’

‘ _’Oh, I don’t think you’ll regret it._ ’’

‘ **’Big words from a virgin.** ’’

‘ _’What makes you think I still am?_ ’’

‘ **’Because I think that’s the last promise you’d ever break.** ’’

‘ _’You know me so well._ ’’

‘ **’Ha, I guess that’s why it only took me three years to find you.** ’’

They both chuckle.

Loki’s not acting rational. But this man, who he hasn’t seen for three years, who just broke into his apartment, acted like he owns the place and yelled at him for self-harming has the most kissable lips Loki has ever encountered.

So he doesn’t think.

His hands push the strands of blonde behind the older man’s ears and cup said face. He carefully brushes his lips over the other one’s, awaiting a response.

Thor’s response is as expected. Large warm hands settle on black curls and pull the head they belong to closer.

Their lips collide, passionately, hungrily. Thor’s lips are incredibly warm against Loki’s and they taste like mint gum and cherry suckers. Loki smiles into the kiss.

 _He still likes them_.


	5. Good guy bad guy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> READ CHAPTER NOTES FROM LAST CHAPTER!!!!!!!
> 
> Anyway hey, two chapters in one day, huh?   
> I'm probably not gonna publish another for 1-2 weeks, life is stressful atm. I hope this satisfies your hunger for a while (even though it has another cliff hanger ... LITERALLY NOT SORRY).
> 
> Also thanks a lot for the 500+ reads and the 30 kudos/5 comments. I'm unbelievably grateful. 
> 
> So about this chapter real quick: For somebody who's as sexual as I am and has a couple years of experience, writing a ''sexy times'' scene was incredibly difficult? Because... well... I know how I FEEL but I've struggled with putting it into words. So. I hope this is okay.  
>  I won't let you know what aspects of this whole story reflect my irl experience and which parts don't but... well... I've touched the dick and my dick has been touched. So. That's all you need to know for now (and ever).
> 
> Extra tags for this chapter (I guess): smut ;) , jerking off, dirty talk etc. drug mentioning and Loki hates himself as always
> 
> ENJOY!!!!
> 
> LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU THINK THOR IS A GOOD OR A BAD GUY ;)

Loki arches his back further, needing to be closer, needing to feel this man beneath him.

The barrier of clothing already seems unbearable for the young man.

 One of Thor’s hands trails down Loki’s spine, resting on his tailbone. Loki inhales sharply, he’s so sensitive there.

He can feel Thor smiling against his lips.

 In an act of revenge, the boy with the emerald coloured eyes grinds down on his partners jeans covered manhood.

Thor’s breath gets caught in his throat for a hot second.

Loki only presses their lips harder together. Opening his mouth just a bit , he lets his tongue slip out to teasingly lick over the other’s lower lip before leaning in closer so take it between his teeth and nibbling on it.

Struggling to keep his composure, Thor tries to force a moan back down his throat but it escapes before he can stop it.

Encouraged by that noise he just heard Loki grinds down again, feeling his own member twitch due to the delicious feeling of desperately wanted friction.

 Thor wraps his arms around the naked boy in his lap and stands up with him, just to put him down right next to him.

Loki looks up at him with confusion until his eyes trailer down to get caught on the ‘big problem’ in Thor’s light blue jeans.

‘ **’Aren’t you a bit young for this?** ’’ Thor asks, his voice husky with desire.

Loki smirks.

‘ _’I was young three years ago_ ,’’ he takes a step forward until their bodies almost touch again ‘ _’but I already wanted you back then. Nothing has changed. Except maybe that you won’t go to prison for this now anymore._ ’’

Thor lowers his head, unsure of what to do next.

But Loki slowly but surely grows impatient.

‘ _’Get out of those fucking clothes! I can’t stand being the only one naked here._ ’’

‘ **’Impatient, are we?** ’’ Thor’s old smirk is back

‘’Oh God, you have no idea.’’ with that, the ink haired boy fully breaks the distance to connect their lips again. His small hands creep up under the older man’s woollen sweater. Thor’s abs flex under the icy touch of Loki’s ever cold hands.

 Thor quickly pulls his sweater over his head while Loki works on the skull shaped buckle of his belt.

‘ **’Stop being so eager, baby boy** ,’’ he whispers, sultry  ‘ **’you’re gonna kill me like that.** ’’

‘’ _Good!_ ’’ the young boy winks at his partner.

‘ **’Oh, I’ll show you ‘good’ you little bastard!!** ’’ with that Thor picks Loki up again and tosses him on the bed. It makes the boy giggle softly.

The blonde man, who’s now only covered by a pair of green boxers, climbs on top of him, making sure to grind down against his younger opponent.

The giggling stops and is replaced by a stifled moan.

Who’d have known that just grinding could feel so good?

Loki reaches up to pull Thor’s face closer to his own. They lips reconnect again, this time even more eager than before.

 The pale man’s lips lick over his partner’s again, savouring the faint taste of cherry suckers. Thor growls, now resting on his elbows to take some of his weight off of the fragile figure below him.

One of his big, warm hands creep down to grab Loki’s rear side. The boy moans in pleasure.

 Oh, how much he’s wanted that for years.

Finally, FINALLY!

Thor lifts Loki up a little, their packages rubbing against each other deliciously.

‘ _’T-take it off_!’’ Loki mumbles into the kiss. His left hand lets go of Thor’s face to explore the naked body on top of him.

Thor chuckles.

‘’No, not yet.’’

Loki breaks the kiss. Emerald green eyes look into blue ones with disappointment.

‘’Why not?’’

Thor’s smile grows wider.

_Is he blushing?!_

‘’It’s the only thing that helps me keep some form of self control.’’

The boy tilts his head like a puppy listening to a foreign sound.

‘’Fuck your self control!’’ he whispers, looking into the older man’s lust filled eyes.

Thor sighs but after a couple seconds of mentally weighing out the pros and cons he complies.

He sits up to strip when Loki climbs up behind him. The boy sneaks a look and grins satisfied.

Thor is big.

Not that he expected anything else from the blonde haired giant.

Loki wraps his arms around the man in front of him, pressing his lips against the strong neck.

After placing kisses all over the warm flesh he proceeds to bite and nibble at the most sensitive parts, earning him deep growls and low moans from the older man.

‘ **’Fuck, Loki, I’m gonna lose it if you keep going like that**.’’

‘ _’You’d expect a man with at least 10 years of experience to be able to withstand a bit of teasing, wouldn’t you?_ ’’

Loki speaks so close to Thor’s ear that the low vibration of his voice sends waves of tingles down his spine straight to his already achingly hard member.

‘ **’Just because I’ve eaten ice cream all my life doesn’t mean I’m not gonna get excited about the world’s most expensive sundae.** ’’

That’s such a Thor analogy.

 _All this man thinks about is sex and food_.

Loki giggles quietly before proceeding his previous actions. His lips move up to Thor’s earlobe, licking and sucking on it. From his position he can see that the blonde man has started pumping his large erect member.

‘ _’Nuh-uh, hands off._ ’’ he whispers seductively while lowering his right hand to stop Thor from stroking himself.

An unsatisfied **fuck!** is all the older man manages to get out.

Loki’s grin grows wider and wider.

 _Now I have you where I want you_.

That’s what he thought, at least.

Thor tilts his head far enough for their lips to reconnect. His right arm snakes around Loki’s waist, pulling him onto his lap in one fluent motion.

They make eye contact.

‘ **’Don’t get too cocky with me, pretty boy.** ’’ the older man growls,

‘ **’Your actions might have consequenzes**!’’

Loki throws his head back and laughs. When he leans back in he whispers ‘ _’I dare you._ ’’

Of course Thor takes that as a challenge.

His right arm pulls Loki in closer and secures him in place while his left reaches for his jaw. He carefully tilts it to the right before violently attacking his neck like a starved vampire.

The pale skinned boy can do nothing but moan and lean into the touch, wordlessly begging him to do more, go faster, harder.

 Thor sucks on the young boy’s tender flesh, leaving him beautifully marked up before he draws away to kiss his lips eagerly.

 They can both feel the lust rushing through their veins like a drug, making them feel lightheaded and dizzy and unbelievably high.

In a spurt of irrational confidence Loki untangles his hands that were intertwined behind Thor’s neck, to reach down in between them.

His small hands barely fit his partner’s large cock. Thor hisses at the touch, his member twitching with interest and need.

Thor lets go off Loki’s jaw to grab said penis, returning the favour.

 The young boy buries his face in the other’s neck, panting from the new earned pleasure.

Being touched by another person for the first time is something entirely different from any autonomous masturbation attempt.

The blonde’s hands are warm and big and unexpectedly gentle. He’s skilled and caring but also demanding.

He’s demanding Loki’s pleasure.

And the young boy is more than willing to give it to him. Loki moans loudly when Thor’s thumb grazes his sensitive head again, spreading the already leaking pre-cum over the pink knob.

‘’T-Thor, goo-d-d G-o-o-AAH-d’’ Loki manages to stutter

He’s too overwhelmed by the pleasure to continue the stroking on Thor’s painfully hard cock. His trembling hand just rests on the older man’s inner thigh.

The warm hand let’s go of the boy’s member, leaving him to whimper in protest.

But Thor doesn’t let him suffer for too long.  His hand wraps around both their cocks, making his younger opponent tremble in pleasure while Thor starts jerking them both off simultaneously. The bedroom is filled with thick pheromone-filled air, loud moans and muttered curses.

Pale skin presses into tanned skin, slender fingers caress bulging muscles, nails dig into flesh, tongues lick over every patch of skin they can reach while a warm hand moves quickly between the two lovingly intertwined bodies, driving their arousal to the peak quickly.

‘ _’T-Tho..hnng..s-slow..ah slow down_!’’ is all Loki can choke out

‘ **’Mmhh.. so good..yy-our so beautiful baby boy.** ’’ is all Thor moans in response.

 In a moment of exceptionally intense pleasure, Loki’s nails scratch over Thor’s back, making the older man grunt like an animal.

‘’Do that again Loki.’’ he whispers huskily and Loki complies with gusto.

Thor can feel is orgasm approaching, only enhanced by the wonderful noises his partner is making. His thumb keeps caressing over both their sensitive slits, mixing their fluids, slickening their shafts which only causes his motions to be even more fluent and fast paced.

The hand that’s been securing Loki’s back reaches down further to grab the young man’s buttocks and massaging it in rhythm with his other hand’s motion.

 Loki meanwhile is having the hardest time trying to stay focused on literally anything. The pleasure washes over him fast and strong, making his body tremble and vision blur.

He feels like he’s suffocating on his own desire. Thor’s hand movements grow more and more frantic by the second.

The raven haired man can feel the heat pooling in his loins, he’s so desperate for release.

‘ _’Hnn-n..-ng please.._ ’’ he says almost too breathy and quiet to be heard. But Thor hears him.

‘ **’What is it baby? Can’t you hold it in any longer, hm?** ’’Thor growls cockily ‘ **’you’ve been such a tease before, where’s that loud mouth of yours now, HM?** ’’

Loki just whines like a cat in heat in response, ‘’ _…please, pl-Ah-ease Thor_.’’

‘’Mh, maybe I should let you suffer a couple more minutes.’’

_Fuck everything I thought before. I was never in control. It’s him. All him. Always him. God, Thor. Never let go of me again._

Loki arches his back, begging the other for more skin contact, more friction, more attention, more everything.

His left thumb slides over Thor’s knob experimentally causing the other to sharply inhale.

He can feel the stickiness of their bodily fluids and it has an intoxicating effect on him. Loki pulls back just far enough to look Thor in the eyes.

His thumb comes up to his mouth and without breaking the eye contact he lick his finger while moaning loudly.

Thor’s mouth hangs open in awe, his pupils are dilated so much, one can barely see the beautiful blue anymore.

‘ **’Jesus…FUCK!** ’’ he shouts before smashing their lips together, resuming his pumping motion even more frantic than before, driving them both over the edge in seconds.

Loki lets out a high pitched squeal into Thor’s mouth when he comes, followed by Thor pulling back to shout ‘ **’fuckfuckfucklokiyes GOD!!!** ’’ when his orgasm subdues him too.

White spurts of seamen accompany Thor’s final stroking movements when he works them through their highs.

Loki’s forehead rests against the blonde man’s shoulder while they’re both coming down from their highs.

Letting go of their limp members, Thor wipes his sticky hand on his thigh before wrapping his arms around the heated body in his lap.

 He leans to the side until his head hits the semi soft pillow next to him, dragging the tired man in his lap with him.

A whiskery chin brushes against a hickey covered neck, soft sighs on both ends.

The room goes quiet; all one can hear is the sound of soft breathing.

Thor pulls Loki closer to himself, lifting himself up a bit to grab the blanket that’s stuck between bedframe and wall, all crumpled up.

He lazily pulls over their two bodies that have started to cool down after their heat producing activity.

‘ **’Are you okay?** ’’

It surprises Loki to hear that question. It wasn’t like they’d done anything risky that would’ve justified his partner checking for his wellbeing. Yet it's comforting to know that Thor cares enough to ask.

 The young man wiggles around for a bit before flipping on his other side, now facing the other.

It must be around midnight; the room is so dark that not even Loki’s almost translucent skin reflects any form of light.

Yet Loki smiles at the other, hoping that he sees it.

‘ _’More than just okay. I feel like a child on Christmas Day._ ’’

Loki can’t see it but Thor’s face falls.

‘ **’Please don’t make any jokes about feeling like a child. The twelve years age difference are hard to handle for me anyway.** ’’

‘ _’Oh really? Didn’t seem like it a couple minutes ago._ ’’ Loki teases but he can tell that Thor is truly worried so he rolls his eyes and sighs

‘ _’Listen. I’m 16 now. When we were younger, when I was younger, nothing problematic ever happened except for a few filthy texts which were equally as initiated by me as they were by you. I can’t believe you’re still scared that this could take a turn for the worse even after years. Everything is fine. If anything, you should’ve questioned my mind-set back then and not yours. You never treated me wrong, not physically nor morally._

 _Everything is okay Thor, get that through your bullhead!_ ’’

A small hand reaches out into the dark, searching for a cheek to rest on. The blonde haired nestles his face into the gentle touch.

A softly whispered **Thank you.** is the last word spoken before the two exhausted males drift off into dream land.

 And for the first time in two years, Loki seems to actually rest. No haunting nightmares, no night terrors, no insomnia.

It’s like they never separated in the first place.

It’s like nothing has changed, right?

 

The sun that forces its way through the cracks in the never opened blinds is what wakes Loki the next morning.

 Once the veil of sleep raises, Loki immediately notices two things:

  1. It must be Sunday as his alarm didn’t go off.
  2. He’s alone.



He jumps out of bed way too fast, almost slipping on a dirty T- shirt. His vision goes black for a couple seconds and he feels like he’s going to faint.

_Damn you, low blood pressure!_

He reaches for the window sill to steady himself.

 _Shit, I’m still completely naked_ , Loki notices when he catches sight of himself in the dirty mirror opposite of his bed.

He quickly turns his head before the self-hate induced nausea can force bile up his throat.

 Loki digs through the pile of old clothing on the floor, quickly picking a wide black T-Shirt and a pair of black joggers.

 He tip toes out of the room, walking down the hallway, peeking into bath and living room.

No sight of the tall blonde man.

 When the boy, whose face is almost hidden behind a curtain of messy black curls, reaches the kitchen, he can finally hear some noise.

_Good, he didn’t leave. Now calm down you goddamn pussy!_

Loki shuffles closer to the doorframe peeking into the room.

What he sees confuses him.

The blonde bloke is bent over a gym bag that’s placed on the kitchen counter.

It’s filled to the brim with… yeah, what is it exactly?

Tightly compressed packages in various sizes, neatly wrapped in bubble wrap and brown tape.

Whether it’s due to surprise or the fact that he got up only a few minutes ago, it takes the young man a while to realize what is happening right in front of his sleep crusted green eyes.

Then it dawns on him.

He lunges forward into the kitchen.

Thor doesn’t even turn around. He keeps picking the packages out of the bag and storing them in one of Loki’s empty cupboards.

The boy seems to get paler and paler with every second passing.

Then he snaps.

‘ _’WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!_ ’’ he tries to scream but his throat is too dry so it sounds more like an angry kitten screeching.

The older man doesn’t turn to look at him. He doesn’t even flinch. He just turns his attention back to the goods in front of him. Loki’s breathing heavy.

When Thor finally speaks, his voice is as empty as his face. No expression, no nothing.

Blank.

He doesn’t look at the young man in the room only a few steps away from him.

He stops his action for second and lifts his head.

‘ **’Another broken promise.** ’’


End file.
